I don't feel like writing anything funny today... I am feeling quite stressed the last few weeks. Which leads me to the question. What seperates me from those people who stare stress in the face and still smile like idiots? As if that ball of tension in your stomach that feels like you've swallowed a tennis ball with breakfast is the best feeling in the world... what is WRONG with you people!!! And more importantly... why can't that be meeeeeeeee!!! I have that same feeling that I got when I was 24 and felt like I was going nowhere and not having any fun doing it... which led me to 4 years of the most amazing travelling. Is stress a good thing then? Hell no... I can't remember the last time I slept completely through the night without waking up in some panic about something at work. Don't get me wrong, I do a good job, work hard and never leave things to stew long enough to get me into any form of trouble... nope Im a pretty well behaved little worker bee... But a worry wart by nature.
I stop at a set of traffic lights and see the reed thin little boy begging for just a small bit of food, I look at his bare feet and my heart just plummets, I just want to cry. What is he going to eat tonight. Does he have a blanket to cover himself up with? I see the little dog running loose in the street... immediate stress... is he going to be hit by a car... does he have someone to love him... God forbid should I switch the news on... which I do every morning while eating my breakfast... and see the plight of the dolphins, which just sends me into a complete flat spin... *flings myself on the floor* Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyy....??!! (I do a fantastic drama queen sob) nothing like a dose of morbidity (is that even a word - who cares it makes sense to me) to wake you up in the morning.
So much stress and pain everywhere, and here I am ... with a good job, family and friends who adore me, the man of my dreams, and hell I can afford to buy myself gorgeous olive green boots (For a steal by the way!!) and not have to worry about what Im going to eat every night because my cupboards are full.. and there I am... a ball of stress... because of what... Im scared people will judge me harshly should I drop the ball for 2 seconds..? make a mistake..? Big question you have to ask yourself my fellow stressbunnies... is anyone going to die from you messing up?? I dont know God why...? what do you mean is someone going to die...?Is it a possibility?? ;) See! Im a lost cause...
I was never stressed like this when I was flitting around the world, and why is that...
Because no one was watching.
Am I the only one...?
I have found some stress relief though... like popping little childrens balloons when walking past them... Oh give me a break, you've all thought of doing that atleast once. Not? Just me then ;)