Ok so I've had a few glasses of wine... so excuse the punctuation and spelling errors because there is NO way Im at my best right now. But we're all entitled to our moments yes... This is when I start having those thoughts, you know the ones.. 'Dont carry on writing you fool, you know youre going to regret this in the morning' blehhhhhhh I know how to DELETE... God now you know Ive really lost it... Im talking to myself.
So I had one of my worst days today. Truth is I am completely burnt out and cant remember the last time I felt like I was this overwhelmed... this uninspired. I sound like stuck record dont I? But man oh man I have had more than enough... my poor feeble mind is hanging on by a string. I know now how people go postal at work.. hahaha I can see all my colleagues reading this thinking its time to get the hell out of dodge. But no no... no worries. The worst I would do is develop an annoying twitch in my eye... or a mild case of Tuerrettes Syndrome (OK I KNOW that is spelt wrong but... who cares you know what I mean) But that would be an excuse to walk past all your annoying colleagues and shout 'YOU BALL SWEAT!!!!' at them and then smile sweetly like the little angel I am and walk away? :) pfffft... there is not enough red wine in the world...
So I started Power Plate a few days ago... you know the vibrating machine that promises to make me look like Madonna in 8 short sessions... I do NOT want to look like Madonna let me just point that right out from the beginning... firstly I am Not on the right side of erm 50... is there a right side when you're on the dot? And SECONDLY I refuse to walk around in purple lycra flashing my um... nunnun to everyone... I have my dignity! lycra when youre 50... God ... Lycra isnt good even when youre 20 and have a bum like a peach! Anyhoo talking about having a bum like a peach... I digress back to the Power Plate. My Bum HURTS in so many ways right now I cannot even explain it. But Ill try.... Imagine your bum being tied into about 100 little knots.... and then stuck in a vice... and then the vice... is thrown off a building... into the Amazon river... and then... theres the pirrahannas (spelling people.. I know, I told you Ive had some wine remember)and then the pirahannas (Ok no wait this spelling is really bad... Spell checker STAT!... no spell checker... blast this program to hell... ok well if you dont know what I'm getting at it's the fish that live in the Amazon... the teeth with a tailfin...) anyhoo then these pirhannas (im gonna spell that word different everytime I write it cause I frikkin can *puffs out chest* :) well they get eaten by an alligator... and therefore your aforementioned bottom does aswell....
So my bum hurts... watch this space if I dont have a bum like a peach in a few more sessions man oh man theres gonna be hell to pay... ok so maybe I shouldnt have the KFC after every session... DONT JUDGE ME!!!
Sleepy now... Im a hard worker ok. Or maybe it was the wine. *hiccup* So I am going to bed... to hell with this...
*waddles off with my peachy bum*