An apple a day keeps the doctor away... man oh man do I wish that was true. Ok I dont really eat alot of apples, but if it would prevent me from having to see these quacks then I would dammit! I am fortunate enough to HAVE medical aid... but unfortunate enough to beable to afford the medical aid where you have to go to SPECIFIC doctors and specific hospitals, and specialists. So I can no longer go to my trusty 90-yr-old-in-the-shade doctor who knows where every freckle is (ok that sounds a bit creepy... even to me) ... no no I have to go to a doctor that the medical aid tells me to.... and it's like a sausage factory im telling you!!! My current doctor sees about 3 patients all at the same time, so he dashes in and out from one room to the next and gets himself into such a dizzy spell that by the time he's made you pee in a cup and left and come back into the room 10 times he's forgotten what you came in for and has asked you for how long have you had those massive hemorrhoids...
Massive WHAT!!! But... but...My throat is sore....
Never mind the Instruments!! Lord above... every time he sticks one of those speculum things (or is that the thing the gynae uses to torture us...?) up my nose.. I cant help but wonder who's nose he had it up last.... cause it just kind of sits there on his windowsill... and never mind trying to get hold of him to get test results... oh no no no... I have called him about 20 times to get results before, and every time, the receptionist says 'Oh the doctor is very busy... can I give him a message...? 'Yes please.... ask him to call me back because he didnt call me back yesterday.... or the day before.... and that little sore on my leg is now a huge gaping wound with green stuff in it... but it's ok, Ill just wait here by the phone.... even though theres no one to carry me to the toilet......'
See, Id be a fantastic doctor... I would have fantastic bedside manner... 'Sir, you're going to die.... BUT think of all the cool attention you can milk out of people now....' 'Yes ma'am I know Im going to have to chop off your right leg with this blunt butter knife... but think of how many kilo's this is going to take off the scale' :)
On a more serious note though, dont doctors realise that sometimes when they diagnose you with awful stuff, that maybe they need to explain things to you. Maybe they need to tell you it's going to be ok... that you're scared and are thinking the worst...? Maybe thats what they should be teaching them in university... how to NOT have the bedside manner of a donkey, regardless of how many patients you see everyday :|