Dear Bafana Bafana, As you may be aware, you will be playing a match against Mexico tomorrow in the Soccer World Cup, held in our beautiful country for the first time. No Pressure.
So please… don’t fuck it up!
It is my duty to advise you that should you lose tomorrow’s match and come off smelling like anything but roses (like let’s say – a bowl of stinky nacho’s) I will immediately dispatch myself to your hotel rooms in the dead of night and shave “666” into the back of your hair. Booth: You sir will unfortunately get your “666” etched right into your head with a sharp HB pencil, but do not worry, I am sure you will sleep through the whole process (I have purchased a vat of Chlorophyll to assist with this… or was it Chloroform I needed….? Feck!!)
Much love and big balls to you all.
The Scarlet Pimpernel
xxx