So I have discovered, the older I get the more things tend to piss me off. It’s either that, or the older you get the more you don’t give a shit about being vocal about what annoys you because… who you gonna tell? My mamma? My mom knows better than to tell me off… it’s a toss up between eating tuna one day or eating cat food when she’s in a home… kekeke kidding mom love you *whispers* please don’t kill me….*flutter lashes* :)
And what’s pissing me off lately you ask? Well… you didn’t but I’m going to tell you anyway.
Sex.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for a bit of a romp when it’s between partners or whatever, hell even strangers, I really couldn’t give a fart. It’s when it’s constantly being shoved in your face that’s beginning to get on my last nerve.
When was the last time you watched any music video of the R&B or Hip hop persuasion? Let’s take Rihanna for example. Some lyrics to her song um “Rudeboy”:
Come here rude boy, boy Can you get it up Come here rude boy, boy Is you big enough Take it, take it Baby, baby Take it, take it Love me, love me
Tonight I'mma let you be the captain Tonight I'mma let you do your thing, yeah Tonight I'mma let you be a rider Giddy up Giddy up Giddy up, babe
What the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk? Really Rihanna do you REALLY want someone to ride you like a horse, whip you on the arse, pull you around by your pigtails and feed you carrots afterwards? Is he big enough? And can he get it up? How freaking big does he have to be for goodness sake, last time I checked horses are NOT to be mucked with girly, you’re like 12 and should be happy with what you get I reckon!
And then her new Te Amo song where she’s bumping and grinding all over some woman in the music video… Gods *rolls eyes* the ole lesbian chestnut. We get it. You’re hot. You want all men to fantasize about you being a lesbian… *yawn*
You know men… the lesbian fantasy is only fun until you actually get your wish and you walk in on your girl shtooping the old lady from next door on the kitchen counter… not so funny now is it?
Then we have Lil Wayne… now his lyrics REALLY intrigue me:
“I’m gonna go down your drain girl,
And you can go up my crane girl”
Now having ones vagina referred to as “drain” does kind of turn me on, how about you? Useful little things those drains are... you know, once you do the dishes, and you look in the drain when the waters run out it tends to catch all the peas and onion bits and that’s about when you poke those little suckers right down it with your fingers *stops smiling* Unless you have one of those cool drain strainers… now those are very useful when you’re in a drain / crane scenario.
Methinks you’re rocking less of a “crane” Lil Wayne (see how I did that) and more of a *wiggles little finger*
Also, when last did any of you read a Cosmopolitan magazine? Soft core porn, that’s all it is anymore… EVERY freaking article has something to do with shtooping.
“Do you want to make the best Roast chicken ever? Follow this simple recipe:”
Massage the chicken like you would massage your partners bum cheeks.
Then stuff that chicken like you’d like to be stuffed. Add EXTRA chilli for some spice *wiggles eyebrows*
Then put the chicken in the oven where it will get all juicy and HOT like your loins!
For GODS SAKE people!!! Is nothing sacred!
