A Marriage made in heaven...
So Dalekins and I finally got hitched after almost 5 years together! Wooohooo I finally have permission to lie around in Winnie the Pooh flannels, drink wine right out of the bottle and eat cheese puffs till my fingers go orange EVERY NIGHT! There may even be an occasional fart thrown in… because… well you’re stuck with me now buddy! And I don’t recall us signing a no “cup caking clause” in our ANC (Cup caking – to poep in your hand and erm put it over someone’s nose). Oh come now… you didn’t think you would get AWAY with all those drunken nights of me having to put you in bed with absolutely NO payback did you? No no no monsieur, I have logged the time and events! ;) Mwaahhahahaha! What a malarkey this wedding business is! Luckily I have the most awesome friends and family who would calm me by feeding me vodka when I was about to have a Bridezilla moment! Although carrying a sippy cup around wafting of booze at work did get a bit uncomfortable eventually. They stop buying your “I’m stressed” *makes slurpy noise* excuse 2 weeks after getting back from honeymoon *sigh*
You just can’t ride that “attention me!!” train forever can you… although I’d love to! I got so spoilt with this wedding it’s bloody ridiculous! I got so much underwear at my bachelorettes I can open a “La Senza” in my wendy house (shurrup it will be just as posh!) not to mention the “whirring type toys”
Dalekins: *looks suspiciously at shiny “Whirring toys” on bed* “What’s this”
Me: “Erm… they’re gifts of course…?”
Dalekins: “Why are they lined up on the bed like that?” *suspicious face* “are you making me redundant!!”
Me: “No… I have to label them. Monday, Tuesday….”
Me: “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Where are you taking those Dallllllllllekins!!” I was only kidding I promissssssssssse!
*looks in dustbin* *sad sigh*
*gets yellow dishwashing gloves*
*sticks hand in bin*
Me: “You can be glad they’re still in their boxes you fiend!!!” *shakes fist*
*hauls out marriage contract and writes in pink crayon “Thou shalt not touch my toys! Every action has an equal and opposite re-action and shall result in me throwing your PS3 games into the smoothie maker*
Me: “Now sign!”
*holds out pink crayon*
Dalekins: “No! your bloody bum!”
*sigh* A Marriage made in heaven… ;)
